Whether you know it or not, your relationship with others is influenced by something called Attachment Styles. The style in which we attached to others can cause us great joy, or great pain. Over the last few episodes I spoke about how attachment styles form, and then I talked about Secure and Anxious attachment styles. This week I am covering Avoidant Attachment. I have spent the majority of my adult life in relationship with avoidant attachers and have also on occasion been one myself, so while it is not my personal primary attachment style I am a bit of an expert on them. :-) Although attachment styles is something I learned when I was studying to be a therapist, I have had 2 main mentors who have really helped me to understand this and how it plays out in our lives; Georgia Rose and Chantelle Raven. You can find out more about Georgia here on Facebook: www.facebook.com/georgiaroseevents and here on on Instagram: @georgia_liberate And Chantelle here: embodiedawakeningacademy.com/ Here also are 2 different questionnaires on attachment styles for you to find out which dominant style you are: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/ https://traumasolutions.com/attachment-styles-quiz/
Whether you know it or not, your relationship with others is influenced by something called Attachment Styles. The style in which we attached to others can cause us great joy, or great pain. Over the last few episodes I spoke about how attachment styles form, and then I talked about Secure and Anxious attachment styles.
This week I am covering Avoidant Attachment. I have spent the majority of my adult life in relationship with avoidant attachers and have also on occasion been one myself, so while it is not my personal primary attachment style I am a bit of an expert on them. :-)ย
Although attachment styles is something I learned when I was studying to be a therapist, I have had 2 main mentors who have really helped me to understand this and how it plays out in our lives; Georgia Rose and Chantelle Raven. You can find out more about Georgia here on Facebook: www.facebook.com/georgiaroseevents
and here on on Instagram: @georgia_liberate
And Chantelle here: embodiedawakeningacademy.com/
Here also are 2 different questionnaires on attachment styles for you to find out which dominant style you are: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
https://traumasolutions.com/attachment-styles-quiz/
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Instagram (@livingthroughheart)
Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/@livingthroughheart/)
LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/donnajoyusher) ย
Welcome to the Living Through Heart Podcast. I'm Donna Joy Usher. And I'm an analytical hypnotherapist, a psychotherapist, a spiritual healer, a magnetic mind coach, and a multi award winning best selling author. I believe that everybody is capable of creating whatever they want, if they can just get out of the beliefs and stories in their head. This podcast is an audio blog of my thoughts as I go on a journey to heal my soul, surrender into my feminine power, and to live from the present moment in heart. I hope you find it amusing, interesting, thought provoking, touching, raw and inspiring. ย
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Hello, I'm Donna Joy Usher. Welcome to my podcast, Living Through Heart.
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This is the 31st episode. And this is actually part four out of five parts on a series on Attachment Styles that I'm doing. So if this is the first of my podcast episodes that you've ever listened to, please feel free to listen to this. But if it's not really making a lot of sense, you might want to go back a few episodes to Episode 28, which was part one of my attachment style series, where I basically talked about what attachment styles were and how they formed. ย
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But basically, attachment styles is how we attach in relationship. And it's all relationships, so intimate relationships, but also with our siblings, with our parents, with our caregivers, with our friends. So any... how we can have relationship. ย
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And attachment styles is basically how we attach, how secure we feel, and how safe we feel within our attachment. It's like everything in life, when we were small children and our unconscious mind was creating our reality really, our perceptions, our existence and our story. ย
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It was creating, coming up with ways to stay safe. And how our caregivers cared for and looked after us and how they met our needs and how consistently they met our needs and how safe we felt within that, how we learned to trust within that and how worthy we felt, by the way our caregiver was caring for us and meeting our needs, led to something that was in the psychotherapy world is created, it's called Attachment Styles. ย
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So there are four main attachment styles, secure attachment, which is really what we want to have within relationship where we feel secure, and we feel safe to attach to people. And that is formed... I went that in episode 29, I went into that more detail. And that's basically formed when our caregivers were consistent in meeting our needs, and they only had to be consistent 38% of the time. So it's not like if you're your parents don't freak out, you don't have to be consistent 100% of time, even 90% of time. I mean, if it was an exam would fail, right? It's only 38% of the time that we have to be consistent in meeting our child's needs or being even showing that we're trying to meet their needs that they are important to us. For them to be able to form secure attachment. ย
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Episode 30, I talked about anxious attachment, which is very dear to my heart because that is one of my primary attachment styles. I mean, I attach securely to women and more anxiously to men. Today I want to talk about avoidant attachment. ย
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So whereas anxious attachment is where the needs were inconsistently met, which led to... "oh, I quite don't know if I'm going to be met or not met". And that had led to uncertainty and a definite fear of rejection, is a very strong part of the anxious attacher. And a lot of neediness and graspiness. ย
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The avoidant attacher is formed when the needs are consistently not met. So when the caregiver is consistently unresponsive to the child's needs, then that is one of the ways that an avoidant attachment style is created within the infant, within the toddler, within the child within the adolescent, and within the adult, right because it's what we're working from as an adult is a belief system and structure and pattern or reality that was actually created by a baby. ย
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So this is new to you. Basically, you might want to go back and listen to some more of my podcast episodes where... because what you think is real, what you think is the world what you think is your reality is actually just a story that's created by us and a way to stay safe. And it's a whole heap of perceptions that we've kind of cobbled together and however rules and how to stay safe. And these are often limiting beliefs about ourselves, that we're not worthy that we're not lovable, that we're not important. And these are beliefs that were formed by a child to make sense of a world where the needs weren't being met. ย
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Because when an adult is a god to you, and something happens and you don't get what you need, and the only way to make sense of it is that there's something wrong with you. So and this is basically you know, really about attachment styles. ย
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So an avoidant attacher. That's one of the ways that they form is basically when their needs were just not met. And they became avoidant. So rather than the basically what they learned was that it's not safe. They're not safe or not safe to attach. They're not safe to love, that their needs aren't met, and they basically create a wall and they have trouble attaching to people because it is the fear of the pain that is there means that it's not safe to attach. ย
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So the other way that an avoidant can form an avoidant attachment form is when there is a caregiver who is overly intrusive into their energy. So basically if they have a caregiver who might be an anxious attacher, and might be smothering them, and might be mollycoddling them and might be nagging them and handpicking them and telling them what they should be doing and can't be doing, and they don't allow the child any freedom or any space, then that can also create an avoidant attacher. ย
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And then the third way that an avoidant attacher, the third main way that an avoidant attachment can occur is an anxious attacher, who just is so hurt within relationship that they become avoidant, they just learned that it's safer just not to attach. So that's another way that avoidant can occur. ย
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So if we're looking at a car analogy, then an avoidant attachment is basically the driving through life, right, but they're on their own road. And they're happy like that. That's how they like it. And I think that that's, you know, the safer by their themselves. They're happy by themselves, they like their space, they like their freedom, and they don't feel safe when they're in relationship, they start to get very antsy if...
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They need, they need their freedom, basically, they need their space. So when someone is driving towards them, if they're in a car, then basically they will drive away. And they prioritize their own independence as a survival strategy. And they think that this is normal. ย
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Now, as opposed to someone who is in secure attachment, who sometimes just needs their space. So someone can be a secure attacher can attach quite easily, can think that it's safe to attach, can love to be in relationship, but every now and then, well you just need your space, right? That's quite healthy. ย
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When if you look at a group of herd animals. You know, even within a herd of animals, the individual animals will occasionally wander away and have their own time. So it is quite health to have.. it is a healthy thing to want to have space and to want to have some freedom. But an avoidant attacher takes it the full distance where they need it. And if they don't have it, then they feel threatened. ย
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An anxious attacher on the other hand, if you listen to my last podcast, is the total opposite. They don't like being by themselves. When they're by themselves, they get very uncomfortable. And they want to prefer to be with people than by themselves. And don't get me wrong. Obviously, with all the stuff I'm talking about is very complicated, very complex. There's lots of innuendos, there's whole books that have been written on this topic, and somebody can flow from attachment style to attachment style. ย
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For instance, you might be in secure attachment with your friends, anxious attachment with your partner and avoidant attachment with your father. So we have these different attachment styles. And if you are an anxious attacher and you meet another anxious attacher or who might be even more anxious than you, it can create you into an avoidant. And even though I am primarily an anxious attacher, or Iwas until I did a lot of work on this, even though I was an anxious to attacher in intimate relationship, I had become an avoidant because I had been so hurt by having my needs not met. And by having the be irrelevant, my needs were irrelevant, irrelevant and not important at all. And I had become avoidant. ย
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And that was for me, you know, I spent a couple of years by myself thinking that I was quite happy by myself. But I'm really what I was doing is I had the walls up and I wasn't letting anyone in because it was too painful. To not be important, to not be prioritized, to not be seen right? And to not have my needs met and to feel like I couldn't have my needs met like that that wasn't an option for me. ย
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And to be honest, this is a fine line I'm still working that I'm going to share with you now. It's this whole like as I'm coming into secure attachment. It's the what's the line between neediness of an anxious attacher and having needs that you want it to be met? Like where is it okay, when is it not okay, it's this fine line that has to be balanced. ย
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And I'm beginning to realize that there is only so much healing you can do an attachment style by yourself and that then you basically need to be in relationship, to trigger stuff up, to observe yourself, to have this dual awareness of yourself within relationship to see what's coming up so that you can observe it and see what woundings are there that still need healing, so that you can start to walk that line and start to realize that your needs are important, but also not to be needy, not to need your partner to meet your needs, to make you feel safe, right you need to be able to be safe by yourself. There's a fine line, the dance between people in relationship. ย
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So back to avoidance, sorry. So we just go back to avoidant attachers. ย
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So the key qualities of avoidant attachment, the fear of losing independence, they have a fear of commitment, a fear of intimacy. And they give more time and party to work, to hobbies, and friends instead of romantic relationship. And they make that, they make that fine. Like somehow that's more important. Their friends are more important, their job is more important. And if you're in a relationship with someone who is a very, very heavily an avoidant attacher, and they make it out that you're needy, or you're high maintenance, if you're wanting something from them. ย
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So it can be a real, excuse my French, head fuck, right? If you're in a relationship, if you are an anxious attacher, with someone who is a very strong avoidant attacher, it can really be a big head fuck, because even if you're not being needy, if you have a need that you want to be met, then the big chance is that it's not going to be met. And then that can trigger you up, right, that can trigger your anxious attachment up because this whole fear of rejection comes up. ย
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So to be able to observe this within you and observe that within your partner, and to know that, hey, you know what, it is okay to have wants within relationship and to have needs within relationship. And if they aren't being met, if you are in a relationship with someone who is an avoidant, to have conversation with them, and then if they still aren't going to be met, then you're just not compatible. ย
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You know, you don't have to stay in relationship when you're not compatible with someone. And this is the thing, we get in relationship with people. And then for some reason, it's like, you've got to make it work. Why? Why do you have to make it work? Sure, when there's children involved, and things, then I can see that it is more important. But if you're not compatible, then you're not compatible. And if you're not compatible, then you're going to be miserable, both you're gonna be miserable. And that is not a good example for children to be seen. ย
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However, if both people within the relationship are willing to work on their stuff, and if you're in a relationship with an avoidant or an if you're an avoidant in relationship with an anxious person, you're both willing to observe yourself and work on your stuff together, then it can be a really beautiful way to heal towards secure attachment together. ย
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But if you are with someone who is making you feel like you're not a priority, and who is being very avoidant, then this is what's going on. It's not that you're not important, okay? It's not that your needs aren't important. But just, yeah, it is that fine line of being needy versus having you been made to feel that you're not important. ย
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So avoidance, often also, they want to find the one right, they want to find the one that's perfect, and they hold this standard of perfection. And they use this as a reason to not to commit to people. So I'm not committing to someone unless they are perfect. Meanwhile, there is no one that is perfect, right? And it's this unconscious thing that they have going on, where they're using this as a resistance to commit to somebody, because they're not perfect. And yet, it's like this ghost is there, there is never going to be no one's perfect. ย
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And they will often hold up the last person that wasn't perfect when they were with them, right? But when they get with the next person, they will often hold it the last person is the one that got away, the one that was perfect because they can't have them anymore, right? And now they're the reason they're holding their things up as the reason for why this next person isn't perfect. ย
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And avoidant can bring up and will bring up things about their past partners that is better than the partner that they have, that can be quite hurtful to this partner. So they scan for little things that they don't like about the partner that they're with to keep the connection away, to stop themselves having to connect. ย
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And they are actually attracted, they are attracted to anxiously attached people, right, but they're also repulsed by them. So they're attracted to the polarity, to the energy of this person. But then they're repulsed by the neediness within the attachment style, the anxious attachment style. So they tend to be distant, they're emotionally withdrawn, they're cold and they need a lot of space. ย
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And they often fantasize about prior relationships and exes, even though at that time, they didn't want to be with that person either. So they have this grass is greener mentality. ย
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So if this is kind of like, speaking to you, either, "ugh this is my partner", or maybe starting to sound like you, like if this is you, please don't think that this is a criticism on you. Please don't think that this is a judgment on you. This is just how you learned to be safe. Okay, so this is, yeah, this is... sometimes we look at these things that we have, and we think of them as problems, but really what they were at the time they were formed was a solution. ย
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Okay, so the avoidant attachment style, or all of the attachment styles were solutions to a problem. And the problem was our needs weren't being met. The problem was that we've been made to feel it that we weren't worthy, we weren't lovable. And we weren't important. And we formed this way of dealing with that, of stopping ourselves from being hurt. ย
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And the avoidant attacher was very hurt when they were when they were young, or later on in life - an anxious attacher that was hurt later on in life or they were smothered and they needed space. ย
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So please don't think... you know when I'm saying these things, they sound hard and they sound like sound like I'm judging, but I'm not, I'm just stating from a point of where we're comparing to a secure attacher, I'm stating how it looks to be an avoidant attacher. ย
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But this is something that may be stopping you from being truly happy. And from being able to connect and be intimate and have the connection that you want with people, is this avoidant attachment and this fear of being hurt that's there. And if this is you, or if you know, if you have a partner that is like this, then there's a lot of work that needs to be done there on the healing, to come to a point where they can let these walls down and can let love in. Because the first thing that needs to be done is that self love needs to be there. ย
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And the same as anxious attachers. Until we can love ourselves deeply and intimately, and until we can see that we are important and until we can be worthy within our own lives, until we can put ourselves first within our own life, then we can't accept it from other people. And this is where the healing comes in. ย
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So the interesting thing about an avoidant attacher is when they are in relationship, and they're normally in relationship with an anxious attacher, right, who is flowing into their energy and smothering them and grasping and needing and wanting from them, wanting complements or wanting to be touched or wanting to be held and they get smothered, and they pull back right? ย
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When the anxious attacher then pulls back, the avoidant will move back in because it gives them the space and then they come back. And this is this what creates this push pull dynamics in relationship. ย
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So they take little responsibility in relationships, and they will often blame the other for issues. And they're very sensitive to any attempts of a partner to control them or remove their freedom in any way. And often it's not actually trying to remove their freedom, but just trying to create something, but it feels like their freedom is being removed. So they tend to feel that they're not enough. And that they're getting constant criticism from partners. So this is basically them... it's often not true, right? ย
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When somebody says something, it's how we interpret it and what we make it to mean about ourselves. So when their partner is saying something, they're interpreting it in a way or they're hearing it in a way, that is a criticism and it's giving them a basically backing up their underlying belief system that it's not safe to be in relationship. So they will interpret things. And we all deal with this, we interpret things in a way that is backing up our underlying belief system. ย
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So an avoidant attacher will hear, and will make it mean something about themselves. And we're often going to loop, in a spiral about it, even when their partner has like said, hey, that's not the way it is. And that's not true, but they won't let go of it. ย
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So avoidant attachers really just only able to put one foot into a relationship. They've always got one foot out, one in. And they can have a few relationships or interests on the go at the same time. So they don't have to commit to one right? They tend to keep control by choosing the rules of relationships. So that was set the rules of relationships. So for instance, no overnight stays, or what is that movie... the Maid of Honor?
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Maid of Honor? In the beginning, the Maid of Honor, I think it's McDreamy. The guy who played McDreamy in Grey's Anatomy. He is a typical avoidant attacher. He had all these rules, he had all these people he was seeing, and had all these rules in place, to not attach, to not be in relationship. So he a prime example right there.
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So avoidant attachers have low self esteem. So are anxious attachers. Okay, so don't feel like I'm... because you know what I say, that I was an anxious attacher in intimate relationship. I'm not being judgey of avoidant attachers, even though I'm very attracted to avoidant attachers. And I've spent a lifetime of relationships, in relationships with avoidant attachers and now I'm now healing through the woundings of those, basically of having re traumatizing experiences right, within these relationships. ย
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So they do have a low sense of self esteem, but so do anxious attachers, so I'm not just being dodgy against the avoidant attacher. So deep down, they feel that they're not good enough. And they're very sensitive to any criticism and they can have a lot of shame or fear around their emotions and vulnerability. ย
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So they had this real lone wolf mentality and they can often feel like an outsider and have that really, I'm the only one I can rely on. They're not safe to rely on other people. So they're often like ย animals more than people, and they're distrusting of others. And they can have many friends, but very few that they actually get close to. They can be very judgmental of others, which really like everything when we're very judgmental of others, it's really just a reflection of our self judgment by, you know, what we're seeing within ourselves which is mirroring. ย
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And especially within relationships that can be very judgmental of their partner. They worry about what others think of them, but they mask this by shutting other people off and closing off. They undershare in communication, they undershare personal information, as opposed to an anxious attacher who is an oversharer. And they remain a real closed book. So they have a lot of difficulty expressing their feelings. And they feel very threatened by that. ย
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So they're often with an anxious attacher, right? So they blame their partner for being too sensitive, because they have trouble expressing their feelings, and they are very uncomfortable talking about emotions. So they're very good at deflecting their partner's feedbacks or concern. And they have difficulty asking for what they need, unless it's a need for space, right? So if they need space or freedom, and they can ask for that, or they just force it. But they have, they have difficulty asking for what they need, because there's a fear of not having that need met when they do because it just it really wasn't met when they were a child. ย
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So they also feel very threatened by confrontation, they tend to shut down during this or run away. So when it comes to boundaries, they are the king of boundaries. Well they think that they have very strong boundaries, but they're really walls. Because a secure attacher has very strong boundaries, has very good boundaries that are in place, but they have very flexible boundaries. ย
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So they can have something that to them is a no one day, but then the next day it might be in yes, because they've changed their mind and they're feeling better and something shifted. So the secure attacher's boundaries are very fluid, whereas avoidant attacher has these set boundaries, and they're really walls which are there to keep themselves safe. And they prefer to say no more often than they say yes. ย
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So within sexuality, the avoidant withholds emotional intimacy within sex. So they can offer sexual intimacy, but they withhold emotional intimacy. And they're often emotionally disconnected during sex. So they tend to use sex to avoid emotional vulnerability. And they can be, but not always, they can be focused on their own pleasure. So they can be quite selfish in bed, with low regards to partner's needs. But that's not always true, right? Sometimes they can be more, they can be quite focused on their partner's needs as a way to avoid emotional vulnerability, because then it's not about them. ย
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So the key beliefs around relationships is that if I choose love, I will lose myself. And people always want something from me. So it's just easier if I'm alone. And they believe that commitment means losing freedom and being suffocated. And I have a couple of clients who are avoidant attachers who are aware of it, and it's a real struggle for them. Because they feel this need for freedom within them. But they also, they also feel the need for relationship when they get into that dual awareness stage. ย
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So they do believe that relationships are hard, and they have to give up too much of themselves. Or they believe they can't seem to get anything right in relationships. So it always fails, so why bother? ย
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So how do you heal towards secure attachment if you are an avoidant attacher? Well, like anything, the first, the first thing that needs to happen is an awareness of it. So once you're aware of it, and you have this dual awareness of your attachment style, and you can see it there and feel it then feel the energy of it and the urge for the freedom, the judging of your partner, never committing fully, always having one foot in one foot out, grass is greener, not making them a priority, not making them important, and not seeing the divinity within them, right? Not really worshiping them as a person like in your relationship, then that is you know, if you see this within yourself, then you're probably an avoidant attacher. ย
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So the first thing is your awareness, right? And once you've got that awareness, that gives you a greater power and capacity to change and heal. And then once you've got that awareness, you can explore what you need, right? You need love. We all need love and connection. But you also need space. And how can you have this? How can you have the space and the freedom that you need so that you're not feeling trapped and you're not feeling like you need to bolt but also have the love. ย
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You need to let go of the idea of the perfect one knowing that we're all human. We all have our flaws and instead start to see the divine within your partner and stop judging them and comparing them to past partners or to other people. And definitely stop comparing them, like verbally to them, like I was with an avoidant attacher who would would tell me stuff, intimate stuff about other partners that would make you just feel shit about yourself, basically. So that's ย a no, no, I mean, and for me like, you know, if I had been in secure attachment that time then that would for me would have been like, that's not acceptable, there would have been a boundary in place because I was however in a triggered anxious attachment at that time, you know, then I was just trying to be better or being you know, be whatever was needed to be, to be lovable, to be the best, to be, you know, perfect. All the things that I was going through at that time. ย
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So you need to realize if you are an avoidant attacher, that just because you say yes to something, it doesn't mean you're giving away your boundary. And it doesn't mean you have to say yes to it forever. You can change it to a no. And that is the beautiful thing about good boundaries and being flexible, right? ย
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You need to start exploring closeness in small titrated amounts that feel safe to you. So doing activities with your partner and letting them know that this is the intention of what you're doing. So if you have good communication, that is the first thing, letting them know how you're feeling, let them know that it's not about them, but it's your own attachment style, and what you're trying to do and what you want to work on what your intention is, and letting them know that you want to try these small, small amounts of closeness. So that you can start to build safety within that. ย
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So during that and through that, you're starting to see smaller, more flexible boundaries beneath your walls, right? So starting to observe your walls for what they are, which is just really big walls, became flexible and start to look for flexible boundaries instead. ย
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And really try communicating when something is going on for you instead of shutting down and running away and deciding that this is not the right person for you communicating, alright?Realizing that your partner wants to be connected with you, wants to be intimate with you and is there for you and wants to hear from you, and wants to hear your emotions and your feelings. ย
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So especially because there's a really good chance you're in a relationship with an anxious attacher who is really open to that. So try communicating these things so that instead of having to run away, you can start to feel safe within a relationship. And then the flip side of this is you ought to need to listen to your partner's needs. ย
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Now in knowing that, just because your partner is expressing a need, it doesn't mean that you have to meet them, but you should at least hear them out. And then if you don't want to meet them have a look at why what is it about the need that makes you not want to meet it is it really that the partner is being overly needy and is wanting you to basically take their discomfort away and been and you know, be there all the time for them and solve all their problems, or is something that's actually a need or a want or a desire that is actually quite acceptable for them to have within relationship.
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So try really leaning into connection and allowing others to be there for you. Starting to trust ย that you are important and that you are worthy and that you are lovable and and that it is safe. ย
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It is safe to let people in and it is safe to love and to be loved. And it is safe to start to share yourself intimately. And to have connection and to start to open your heart, right? Open up your heart to others but more importantly, open up your heart to yourself and start to rather than hiding behind your walls even from yourself and keeping yourself so busy that's often something that avoidance do, they keep themselves so busy whether or not it's with work or just with like distractions which are quite common for people anyway? ย
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Rather than with sitting with our stuff and feeling it there and allowing it right we distract ourselves. So rather than being busy, busy, busy, busy, whether it be always work or whether it be with TV or whether it be social media, whether it be with friends and you're never actually having any space when you can just sit and be with yourself. ย
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Starting to be with yourself, starting to observe yourself, and starting to do small kinds of things for yourself and starting to love yourself. And that is how you know the start of the healing process and then starting to share with your partner and very very slowly in small easy ways starting to build that level of safety and that level of trust back into your relationship with others. ย
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Okay, I hope that this was interesting for you. Whether or not you are an avoidant attacher, whether or not you're with an avoidant attacher. Now remembering, if you are an avoidant with an anxious and you're wanting to heal but your partner is not willing to take responsibility for you know, for some of their needs and for some of their desires and they're really just expecting you to solve all their problems, and they're not willing to start healing themselves, then it's not going to work. Alright, long term, it just won't work. ย
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And the flip side is if you're an anxious attacher who's wanting to work on that attachment style, and you're with an avoidant, who was totally not willing to even accept that there is something there, like this is just the way is, like a lot of avoidant attachers are, and there's nothing wrong with the way they are, and they're not open to anything and you're just being needy, and you're just being home maintenance, all that stuff. A lot of gaslighting going on, then it's not going to work. ย
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Okay, so just remembering that you don't have to stay in a relationship with your needs, and your wants aren't important, and they're not being met, whether it be in either way. And it is better to be by yourself than to be in relationship like that. ย
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Okay, so next episode, I'm going to talk about disorganized attachment, which is probably the most confusing and the hardest to work through of all. People who are in disorganized attachment really need help with therapy, because it's a combination of anxious and avoidant happening at the same time within them, and it can be very confusing and very discombobulating from them. ย
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Now, a lot of all this stuff that I'm learning I mean, I learned some of it when I started to be an analytical hypnotherapist, but I learned most of this stuff from my mentors, Georgia Rose and from Chantelle Raven, who are both in the tantric space within Perth. So with this podcast episode, in the notes, I have put links to them so you can go check them out as well and see more about them. ย
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So I hope that you found this interesting and I will be looking forward to seeing you or not seeing you but I'm looking forward to you listening to the next and final installment of the attachment style podcast series. ย
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I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Living Through Heart Podcast. To find out more about me and Living Through He,art check out donnajoyusher.com and livingthroughheart.com. There you'll find links to everything you need, including some free tools to help you and ways you can work with me on your own soul healing journey.
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