Most of us live our entire life from within the mind. WE never question our reactions and we don't realise that what we think is real, is just our version of reality. In this episode of Living Through Heart, I talk about being real with what's there inside, and how doing this is going to bring you more joy and happiness in life. Here's the link I mention at the end: https://livingthroughheart.com/moreinfo
Most of us live our entire life from within the mind. WE never question our reactions and we don't realise that what we think is real, is just our version of reality.
In this episode of Living Through Heart, I talk about being real with what's there inside, and how doing this is going to bring you more joy and happiness in life.
Here's the link I mention at the end: https://livingthroughheart.com/moreinfo
You can connect with me on:
Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/livingthroughheart)
Instagram (@livingthroughheart)
Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/@livingthroughheart/)
LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/donnajoyusher)
Hi, It's Donna Joy Usher from Living Through Heart.
And today I want to talk about being real, like being real with what's inside.
And I've just driven down, I'm just actually sitting in my car outside and waiting to go in for a session with one of my beautiful mentors, Georgia Rose, who I do work with.
And I was thinking about how powerful being real with what's inside us really is.
And how it's only since I've actually started to really be able to tap into what's truly inside me that I've started to have exponential growth and, coming into real true happiness and peace inside and it's still a work in progress, don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm all enlightened and just want to sit on a park bench and be in bliss my whole life.
I laugh because that's what I got told.
I'm not laughing at it at all.
Obviously, I laugh because it's a joke that my girlfriend and I have about how, when we get enlightened, we're just going to sit on a park bench like Eckhart Tolle did for a couple of years after it happened for him.
But yeah, it's not like I'm at that stage yet, that's for sure.
But, I am definitely in a place of being able to touch joy, which is where I started my journey five years ago was when I couldn't touch joy, I realized I couldn't touch joy.
And, you know, we're taught as children and as adults, right, it's really, it's kind of like, strengthened what we're taught as children, by the way people respond, when we share something negative, like, "I'm gonna go negative with them", quote marks around it because nothing is negative, right.
But when we share something that other people are uncomfortable with, and maybe it's uncomfortable with, because they don't have the space to hold it themselves within themselves, right, and they get uncomfortable with what it is that we're showing up with.
And the way they react to us. And maybe they even say stuff, or maybe they stop contacting us, all they cancel being with us and things like that, because they can't hold space for where we're at.
And we're taught that it's not okay to be there, it's not okay to be sad, it's not okay to be angry, it's not okay, you know, to have these parts of us.
And when we're children, often the parts of us that were taught are not okay, like the part that's happy, or the part that's creative, or, you know, there's things, there's parts of us that, you know, you would think would be okay to have, but they're just not allowed and where sometimes punished for them outright, or sometimes we're just rejected for them, and taught through different ways, either through words, or the way people are being with us.
Or energy towards us that these parts of us are not okay, and we learn not to feel emotions.
We learned that it's not a, you know, even religion, right?
We're taught within religion that we have to be, you know, loving and giving, and kind, and caring, and all these other parts of us, these aspects of us, the angry part, the jealous part, the greedy part, that they're wrong, and they're evil, and we learn to actually cut parts of us out and put them over them or resist them and, what ends up happening is we just end up squashing ourself, and the wholeness of who we truly are, and denying it.
And then we wonder why we're not happy.
We wonder why we can't create what it is that we want to in our life.
We wonder why we're stuck and struggling?
We wonder why we're ill.
Why we're tired.
Why we can't shut this voice in our head up.
We wonder why we have an autoimmune disease.
We wonder why we develop cancer.
You know, these things that are happening to us within our bodies, because when we deny parts of us and we deny the emotions that that part needs to feel, wants to feel is actually feeling, we'd lock it inside ourself.
And there's this energy inside us this cellular memory of an emotion that needs to be released.
And we instead we have frozen around it, we've constricted around it, we've trapped it inside.
And for me, I used to like, when I used to allow my inner child to reenact or to express in my head, I definitely had some growth, right because at that time, I wasn't able to be truly present with what was inside myself.
So I could allow my inner child to do it.
But I would be lying there with my eyes closed, silent, might be crying.
But I wasn't enabled, I wasn't allowed to be angry right?
Definitely wasn't allowed to be angry.
And for me, it's only since I've actually started tapping into not does that anger, but a true rage.
And releasing that rage that I've started to have this exponential growth of like coming home to who I am and allowing these parts of me that I had splintered off, and sectioned off, and denied and not allowed to come home and to be with me.
People worry that if they allow their anger, they're going to be an angry person.
But the truth is when we don't allow our anger, we're an angry person.
Because it's in there inside us all the time eating away and it's coming and it triggers and we're passive aggressive, we're resentment.
These are all forms of anger, right?
We punish people by withdrawing our love or withdrawing our attention the way it probably happened to us when we were children.
And this is all ways that we express anger without actually expressing anger because it's there inside us.
Now, I'm not saying that we should be going out and being angry at people, but because when we're angry in the now, it's not really about the now it's really about us feeling threatened about us feeling unsafe, right?
And that threatened and then unsafety comes from our childhood, from things that we learned to believe about ourselves, and how to stay safe in our childhood.
So when someone triggers us in this moment, it's normally well, maybe they've crossed a boundary transgress a boundary, and we're right to be angry, but we don't need to take it out on them, we can observe the anger, release it elsewhere, and then come back to them and say, no, this is not okay.
I'm in my power.
This is not okay that you've done that.
But a lot of the times when we're being triggered by someone, it's because what they're showing us, when we reflecting back to us as a part of us that we're not allowing.
And that part there, is the part that we need to go to.
And we need to find, we need to allow, we need to allow them to express what it is in their life that happened, our life when we were them, and allowing us to channel that through us to start to release this energy inside.
And when we do that, when we're really real with what's inside, and we really allow it, it's almost like this shattering of this container that we're stuck within, that we're trying to, we're in this container that was kind of we created right hundred percent responsibility, but we created as a child to stay safe, but it's no longer keeping us safe.
Now it's keeping us stuck.
Now it's keeping us unhappy.
Now it's keeping us sick.
And we need to shatter that container.
By going into our real emotions, and allowing them we start to reclaim our power, we start to be who we truly are, in our wholeness.
And all of these parts of us, all of these aspects of this can come home.
And we can be whole, and we're no longer looking for what we need in other people, we're no longer expecting other people to make us feel worthy, to make us feel lovable, to make us feel safe.
We can let go of all of that stuff from where we're living our life.
And we can just be with ourself in peace, in bliss.
And that is such a beautiful place to be, to feel wholeness, and to not feel the need for somebody else to complete us.
But then instead, to be able to be with people because we truly just love them.
And we truly just enjoy them.
And not because of what we're getting for them, not because of what it means about us when they pay us attention.
That is like a whole different experience of being with people and loving people.
So if you're thinking about you think, oh my god, I really like that.
But this is not something, if you've never done it before, it's not something that you're probably gonna be able to do yourself, right, tapping into this sort of emotion, allowing it, releasing it.
It's not something that you can do unless you're experienced, because there's a lack of safety in there, right.
And it's been out and a lot of the time it's not, you're not actually even able to get there, you can maybe be a bit sad, you can maybe be a bit frustrated, but to actually get into the core primordial like emotions, it's not something you're going to be do by yourself initially, right?
Until you've, learned how to do it, and then it's safe to do it.
So if you kind of like are thinking, "Oh my God, oh, this just I can't I wish this voice in my head would stop, I just wish that I could I could create what I want.
I wish I could be happy.
I wish I could",
you know if you're stuck in something and you know, it's no good for you, but you just can't make yourself take the action that you need to change it.
Believe me when I tell you that being real with who you really are and allowing that is what is going to allow you to then take the action that you need to create the life that you want.
It's not something that you just do once it's something that you keep going into and keep going into as you peel back these layers.
These resistances, these parts of you that aren't allowed, everything you've built, created within yourself, hiding these parts of you to stay safe, right?
Sectioning out these emotions that are not allowed.
It's a coming home.
It doesn't, it doesn't happen overnight.
But it's a coming home process that can take some time.
So if that's something that you feel like you want to do, listen, I'm creating some stuff for the future.
I'm going to be doing more one on one space, but also more workshops.
So I want you to go to livingthroughheart.com/moreinformation.
And I'm going to create that link.
And then there's going to be a form that you can sign up for and you're just going to go on a list.
And once I have created, either more one-on-one time, or I'm going to create workshops that you can come come into and be held in a space and go through a process of like women coming back into their power and things like that.
Also looking at couples counseling in the future, helping men and women understand each other better and relate to each other better.
So if that is something that interests you go to livingthroughheart.com/moreinfo, fill out that form and it will just put you onto a list so that when I have finished completing what it is that I wanted to do and what it is that I'm bringing to this world, through where I'm coming in, where I'm going and everything that I'm studying and learning and putting together then I will email you out and let you know.
So I hope that this has given you some food for thought.
And I hope that you have an amazing week.