We can live life in one of two ways - in our genius and the energy of our end result or from the place of our wounds in our egoic agenda. So how do you know which one you are in, and how do you make sure you are living from your end result? Listen to this episode of The Living Through Heart Podcast to find out.
We can live life in one of two ways - in our genius and the energy of our end result or from the place of our wounds in our egoic agenda. So how do you know which one you are in, and how do you make sure you are living from your end result? Listen to this episode of The Living Through Heart Podcast to find out.ย
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Hello, it's Donna Joy Usher from Living through Heart Podcast, I want to welcome you to this 53rd episode.
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And I'm here in beautiful Bali, I'm staying at this amazing villa with Rochelle Weir and seven other... actually six other beautiful women and we are doing the Unlimited Creative Retreat. ย
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And we went through a really interesting process this morning that I wanted to just talk you through. ย
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Because it's something you can do with other people, it's something you can take yourself through. ย
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And basically it's looking at the difference of the structure that you're in, when you're living in your end result versus when you're living in your egoic agenda. ย
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So what do I mean by that? ย
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Well, we will have end results that you want to create in our life, like what we want our life to look like, what is that purpose? What do we want to like create in this world? And for some people it's like, you know, grand, I want to, for instance, with me what's coming into with sharpening clarity is, you know, wanting to help women embrace will recognize first identify and embrace and step into the feminine power. ย
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So that's becoming my purpose that I'm working on. ย
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And what I did in this process was I stepped into the end result of living that purpose, being that purpose, having been in that end result of having created that and be doing that. ย
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And then from there, I stepped into the end result or into the current reality or into a reality that I'm in when I'm not working towards that. ย
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So when I was in the end result of being in creating what I wanted to do, which is like empowering women, I was ย in a result of where I was living my true nature and purpose where I was living a life I loved or I built really how I was being how I was behaving. ย
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And this is what it's all about. ย
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It's like how do we behave when we're living in our end result, and holding the space and the energy for in result versus how do we behave when we're not? ย
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Because thoughts and beliefs create actions, right actions in actions or reactions. And they're really what we could call behaviors when they become patterns, that behaviors. ย
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And some people live out their whole life in dissociation and distraction patterns and behaviors, not even able to recognize that maybe there is more to life than the life that they're living. ย
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And maybe that's just the journey for this lifetime. ย
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And other people live out a life and unfulfilled life where they want more, but they just don't go for it. ย
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And they remain stuck in this egoic agenda. ย
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So the egoic agenda is basically the beliefs and the structure and the behaviors that result from those beliefs that create us being stuck or struggling or oscillating or not going for what they want. ย
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And that can be the distraction techniques that maybe help take away the pain that can be you know, prioritizing the wrong things, never having time to get to what we need to do that can be you know, hanging out with like other people who are making it okay to not be going for what we want to go for. ย
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Versus like doing what we need to do to have it. ย
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So let me talk you through my process. ย
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So when I stepped into my end result where I was this woman who was doing this, and you know, you don't have to have to create the end result, you have to be in the end result, you don't have to be at the end result, right? But you have to be need to be in the energy of the identity of that end result and doing what this person would be doing at the end result doing that now, to actually have it right. ย
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It's like, we know that when we to lose weight that we don't just wait we're skinny to start eating well and exercising we know that we have to eat well and exercise to lose weight to get that body, to get to where we want to go. And the same as with our purpose in our life. ย
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To have what we want in our life, to create what we want to in our life, we have to be taking the actions now to have it. ย
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And the problem comes when we haven't already created it and there's like a feeling of fraud or an unworthiness. ย
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It's stopping us from taking that action. ย
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But when we can step into the end result and feel the feeling of having it now then we can start to take the action that we need to have it and we can feel safe within that. Our identity can feel safe within it. ย
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So when I stepped into the end result, I was empowered. I was passionate. I was on purpose. I wasn't procrastinating. I was really have very strong boundaries around my time and my energy. I was leading from the front. I wasn't trying to help people do it. I was just being a vibration of what's possible. And being a message and then teaching what needed to be taught for people to do do it themselves. But I wasn't trying to carry people. ย
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I did what needed to be done, I was able to make decisions and just act on them. I didn't care about what people thought. I was more in love with what I was doing and who I was helping than what people who didn't believe with me with say about me. ย
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So you sort of start to get the feeling right now this person, this person who is in that, the actions that I can take from that space, are going to enable me to sit down and go, right? ย
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Well, I need to do, okay, well, I need to work out a workshop. And I need to put that, I need to create a landing page. And then for that I need and then what about the landing page, I need to start promoting it. And then I need to actually turn up and do the workshop. ย
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And, you know, these are the actions that I need to take to do it. And and if I'm in the energy of the end result of the person who has already done it, then I can take those actions.
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Now compare that to if I'm stuck in, in a current reality of egoic agenda where I'm stuck in my woundings of not being worthy, not being lovable, having to be perfect before I can start, worried about fraud complex, you know, all the things that were my issues that I'm still working through, but worked through a lot of, and instead of being able to take the action, I would decide that everything has to be perfect before I can launch right? ย
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And one of the things I laugh about, and maybe you've noticed this, maybe you haven't is that at the moment, I'm filming this, which I think is the 27th of November, what day is it? I'm not sure, I think it's Monday. I can't tell anymore. And 2023, right? ย
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I am driving people in my outro of my podcast to one website that hasn't been updated and still shows that I'm a marketing coach, as opposed to a feminine empowerment coach and a healer, right?
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Doesn't even talk about my spiritual healing. It doesn't even talk about my LM hypnotherapy and psychotherapy, it doesn't even talk about the fact that I'm going to be a tantric practitioner training. ย
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It talks about, you know, learning how to market yourself online, which is not what I do. ย
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And the other website that I drive people to doesn't even exist yet. I own the domain. And I think there's a cookies, banner, and nothing else. ย
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Once upon a time, that would have freaked me the fuck out, I wouldn't be able to deal with that. ย
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It would have to be all perfect before I even launch my first podcast. ย
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And I'm allowing myself to hold that because I know I'll get around to it. But I'm also allowing myself to be comfortable with not having to be perfect. ย
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So once upon a time, I would have had to have everything perfect before I could start, everything would have to be done. ย
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And by the time I actually got to the point of starting, I'd be exhausted from putting it together. And then disillusioned when nobody wanted it. Because nobody even knows who I am. ย
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I'm not out there talking about stuff. ย
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I'm not out there, getting my message out to the world, I don't have my voice sorted out. I don't have any sort of following at all. And then I want to launch like in a Feminine Empowerment workshops?
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So instead, I would get into procrastination. And I used to try and encourage people to come on board, but then I would do the work for them. Or I would take them or I would drag them along. And then I would get exhausted. And then I would get resentful. And then I will oh what's the point no one wants this anyway. ย
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So when I'm in my egoic agenda, I'm running around trying to get people to see how amazing I am. Rather than just being amazing, right? I'm running around, like, trying to prove my worth. And I'm not in my integrity of who I really am. And I'm not showing up in my own feminine power and my own goddess and my own highest level of what is possible for me, and showing up as an example of what can, what you can have, right? ย
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And anybody can do this stuff. People, you know, people look at people who are successful and say that they're lucky. They're not lucky. They did the fucking hard work. ย
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You know, I can remember someone telling me once, a dental nurse actually told me once I was lucky for being a dentist. I just looked around I was like, was it luck that had me studying like every night of school, and like working really, really hard to get good grades so I could go to uni? Was it luck that saw me do five years of uni, like really long, half, five years, having a nervous breakdown halfway through and still going on, was that luck? ย
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No, that was hard work. That was me having a vision and a dream and doing what needed to be done to get there. ย
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So a lot of people go through life, thinking that other people are lucky. When in reality those people have been in the energy of the end result and taking the action that they needed to do to have where it wasn't they wanted to create what it was that they wanted in their life. Instead of the people who look around and think that other people are lucky and stuck in their egoic agenda, are stuck in their I can't have it. They've just got it because of their mother or their father or generational wealth or whatever it is, right? ย
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There's a lot of assumptions that are made about people without actually even knowing a fact. And I've hung out with people like this before and I've been stunned when they would make a comment about somebody that I've never met. ย
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There's obviously based from discomfort that was created. I mean, maybe you could call it jealousy. Or maybe you could call it discomfort in their being of being shown a reflection of what they really are, or of them not going for their dreams. ย
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Because when somebody shows up in their power, when somebody shows up, who is taking action on their dreams, who is decisive, who is in there, got boundaries around themselves, who is able to say yes or no, and mean it, then that person will make other people feel really uncomfortable with themselves. ย
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Because when I look at them, they see everything that they're not. And rather than acknowledge that, rather than observe that, rather than say that is true, and then go back, what am I gonna do about this, they instead will throw stones at the other person. And they will come up with all sorts of stories in their head, and to them, they will be true because they've made their their ego is now gone into attack mode to defend the place from which they're living their life. ย
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So what did I get out of the process this morning?
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Well, I got out of it quite a few things. ย
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One. You know, I did it, I worked with a lovely lady called Fiona. And we worked on her and she worked on me first and then we worked with her. So basically, it was intuition. ย
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And then once you you step from the the end result into the egoic agenda, and you look at all of your behaviors that you do, rather than do what you need to do them in your own result. Then you make a list of basically things, behaviors that you're in, so that you can start to see the pattern and start to catch yourself within it. ย
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And you can start to go oh my god, I'm judging people. And I'm big noting myself, Oh, shit, I'm in my egoic agenda, I'm not in the end result. ย
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Or oh my god, I'm procrastinating, I just spent a whole day doing shit that didn't need to get done. Or working on other people's stuff that I didn't have to do right now, when actually this thing for me needed to be done right now. Crap, I'm not in the end result. I mean, egoic agenda, I'm procrastinating, I'm feeling not worthy and feeling not good enough. ย
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And so when you go through this process, and you're able to actually flesh out your behaviors, your actions that come from these thoughts, and these beliefs that are there, when you're stuck in your egoic agenda, then you can start to actually map out that behavior and become more aware of it, catch up earlier. ย
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Now, what I realized was that I have come to a place where I've worked through a lot of egoic agenda, it's still there, still observe myself within, I still catch myself with it. And sometimes actually let myself be in it, to study the impact of it on me. ย
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So sometimes I'll observe in myself, a desire to drop something into conversation about myself, to make myself look good. And then at the same time that I'm observing myself and wanting to do that, and like observing why I want to do that. What is it that I'm trying to get out of this by putting this thing into conversation? Sure, it's true. It's true about me. But it doesn't need to be in this sentence. It doesn't need to be in this paragraph, it doesn't need to be in this conversation, this person does not need to know that about me. ย
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But if they know that about me, then they're going to think that I'm better or good or impressive, or whatever it is, right? Whatever it is, I'm trying to get out of it. ย
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So sometimes I will observe the desire come up in myself to actually do it. And I will, I will go into the why. And then I will allow myself to do it anyway, just to watch the impact on myself, and how I feel afterwards. ย
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And in fact, this morning, I was messaging, a new friend, and I was talking about a process I went through yesterday afternoon, that had been quite a bit of discomfort last night. And I was ferreting out and basically it's been my, my latest lack of clarity about what I do want to create. And I mean, it's there. I know it right. But it's all this fogginess. And I've been putting it down to the fact that I'm finally in this place where I know who I am. And do I really want that. But in reality, I was still acting from the fear of the past, of what I created in the past. And the trap that it was always created, on how hard I always work. ย
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And now that I'm actually allowing myself some fun and some freedom, I'm scared of getting trapped like that again. I'm scared of making myself work like that again. And so instead of focusing on this new goal with helping women with Feminine Empowerment, and probably couples therapy as well, right and teaching couples, how to have good communication and to have a beautiful relationship. ย
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So I'm concentrating on that. I'm allowing myself to be confused about what I want and do I really want it. ย
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So I had gone down a rabbit hole with that last night was sitting within that and realizing too, that within that there was just pain from having been carrying people with me in the past. ย
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And I went back and found a memory in early primary school where I had actually allowed because I didn't have many friends and I had allowed a friend to cheat off me in an exam. Maybe grade three and I didn't want to do it with her suggestion. I didn't want to do it. I was scared of getting caught. I felt shame surrounding it. It was I knew even then it was out of alignment integrity. If I allowed it to happen, because I didn't want to lose the friendship. And that was the beginning of me consciously choosing to allow people to have a ride with me a free ride with me, and in fact, me to sell a story to them, to sell like something amazing to them, and then get them on board with it. But then when they don't want to take the action to have it, I do all the work. ย
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And this morning, I was leaving a message for this friend, sort of talking through this process I'd been through and then when I got to the end, I just deleted it, because I could see that I was still in it, because within me talking about it, there was still all this story and all this blame that was going on and me still being in victim. ย
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And I had to come through that to get to the point of realizing 100% responsibility. All these times I've chosen to take people with me, I chose to take them with me, I sold them the story. And then when they didn't want to do the work, I stepped in and did it rather than calling them on it. Rather than saying, hey, this isn't working for me, I took them with me. And I had to become 100% responsible for that decision and that choice. Before I could move on, because that was like, part of the pain and the fear that was blocking me was the exhaustion from doing that. And the fear that I was going to do it again. ย
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But by taking 100% responsibility for it and seeing that I had created that, I'm able to choose not to do it in the future and to become observant of it. ย
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And it is one of my patterns, right? Because I'm scared of doing it alone. So then I try to take people with me. And definitely, it's more fun when you're working with people that you love and people that you can have fun with. But I don't need to let not doing that stap me. And in fact, what I hold in the end result is having this amazing business where I'm empowering women and doing it with like minded women who I love and who is so much fun, then that's what I'll create, the vibration of that going out is what's going to bring it back. ย
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So what I have gotten out of this is the removal of the confusion, the clarity about what I want to create and the crystallizing form of knowing that yeah, I have come to a point where I'm not doing things for the wrong reason anymore, I'm not doing things to validate or show how good I am or to be lovable, or to make my dad proud or to prove to the world that I am worthy. ย
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I'm not doing that anymore. But now I can move forward and create something amazing from a space of it just being my true nature and purpose, and what I'm here to do. ย
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And everything that I've done along the way, every step that I've taken, even if they look like wrong steps, they were absolutely necessary to get me to where I am now, for me to be who I am now. So that I can move forward from this place and create what it is they want to do. ย
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So by looking at what we want to create, being truly like, you know, there's meditations and I'll probably create one of these for people, there's a meditation, we called the land of plenty. And this is in the conscious creator world, and basically allowing you to dream bigger, some people can't even dream about what they want. They can't allow themselves. And I was a little bit like that when I left my, when I left my husband, it wasn't so much that I didn't have a dream of what I wanted. But I didn't know what I as a person wanted or needed. ย
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Because I've been so busy, and so preoccupied with trying to make myself so needed, that I was indispensable, so that I'd be loved, that I'd never actually stopped to think about what my needs and wants were or to even visualize that I was allowed to have my needs and wants met. ย
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So to be able to dream big for what you want and then staying the end result of that creation and to feel how that is to feel the energy of what that's like to observe the actions that are taken from that place, the behaviors that are there the patterns that are there, because of the thought process, the beliefs that are there. And then to contrast that with the now where am I now, or where I'm at. And it's not even so much. And now because even when we're on the road to the creation, we often drop out of it, we often go into procrastination or we have a bad day, or maybe we wake up tired, or we go into some sort of mode where for a day, maybe we slip out of it.
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So it's not even... I mean, we're already whole, right? We're already perfect. So it's really the identity of who we are in each moment. And whether or not we're playing out our wounding and defending them and behaving and acting from that place or whether or not we're working from the higher purpose and from the end result the energy of the person who was doing it. ย
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So when you go into the egoic agenda, you stay stuck, you stay struggling, you stay isolated, isolating, you blame other people, you resent other people, you're angry, you're frustrated, you feel unfulfilled. When you move into the end result, you've got the freedom, you've got the life the way you want it. You've got, you know the ability to create whatever it is that you want to create. ย
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You can choose it, you hold that vibrational energy and then you take the action. And that's the part that a lot of people miss when they're manifesting. They just think that they sit there on a mountain, they hold the energy of this like manifesting what it is that it will come to them. And true, you can draw things to you. But you'll also have to take action to make things happen. And then that's the difference between being a conscious creator, and just expecting things to just purely manifest without you actually having to take action. I think when you move into that energy of manifestation and taking action and holding that end result and consciously creating, you do start to manifest something. Things much more quickly, they'll come to you much more easily, they'll come to you. And sometimes things just come to you without you having to even take an action. This is true. But not everything. ย
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The other thing that I learned from this process, which is interesting, actually, the last two days when we were looking at our true nature and purposes is that we all tie up, we tie up money with our purpose, our business, like if you're trying to create a business, right, if you're trying to create some sort of volunteer or some sort of service that you're doing for the world where it's free, right, then maybe not. ย
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But if you're trying to create a business, like a coaching business, or something that you're doing for people, we link that and money together and abundance together, but the two are actually different. And we should be holding our, our true choice around money separately to our true choice around what it is that we're trying to create, whether it's the life I live, being the predominant creator in our life and living our true nature and purpose. ย
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And then we have like, you know, over here, we can have like, abundance as a separate thing. ย
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And that was a big eye opener for me because it was always so much pressure on me. ย
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When this creation to be the six figure or to be the seven figure, oh my god, do I actually want to be that, do actually want a business that big? And I don't know, I honestly don't know about that. And that is something I don't need to know, what I need to know now is that I want to start creating things for women, to give them, to help them with their empowerment. And that's what I need to start to do. ย
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And each step of the way, if I'm in my truth, I can analyze well, would that be for my highest benefit? Would going for that goal, would that be what I actually really want? Or would it be doing it for some sort of egoic agenda to prove something? ย
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There's a lot of people out there that are just trying to create a six figure business to prove something like oh, it was right up to this point, it was all about proving how good I was. It was all about, you know, giving up being a dentist. And then I had to prove like you know, but oh look, it's okay to give that up because of other amazing six figure seven figure business over here and look how amazing I am. ย
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When in reality, it's not what I actually wanted or needed. I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was doing it for the validation. And you know, for who I thought I would be if I did that. ย
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Right. I think I've made quite a few points there. ย
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So, work out what you want. ย
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Dream big, hold yourself in the end result. And then look at yourself for when you're not taking the actions that you need when you're stuck in your egoic woundings. Remember that abundance, and whatever you want to create life are not inexplicably linked. They are two separate things. Maybe abundance will come from that maybe it won't know. But if you're holding open for abundance, maybe it will come to some other way. Maybe you will win the lotto, and maybe you'll get less money, whatever it is, it doesn't have to be tied together. And when you take that away from what you're trying to create, it takes a lot of pressure off. Because then you can create the passion, you can create for love. And not just because of scarcity mindset surrounding wealth and the need for it. ย
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All right, I'm gonna go I think we're heading back in so I'm gonna get out of the pool. Get dried off and I will see you next time.
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