𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 - Sharing My Story As I Heal My Soul, Surrender into My Feminine Power, and Learn to Live Through Heart

Episode #56 - Who Am I?

Episode Summary

The vast majority of us get to a point in our lives where we realise we have no idea who we are. We start searching for the answer to the age-old questions of Who Am I, and What's my Purpose? I recently got to a point where I realised I had an understanding within my body of who I was. Listen to this episode of The Living Through Heart Podcast for what it was that allowed me to finally start to get that clarity. Throughout it, I mention Possibility Management. Here is their website if you would like to learn more about what it is that they are creating: https://possibilitymanagement.org/home

Episode Notes

The vast majority of us get to a point in our lives where we realise we have no idea who we are. We start searching for the answer to the age-old questions of Who Am I, and What's my Purpose?  

I recently got to a point where I realised I had an understanding within my body of who I was. Listen to this episode of The Living Through Heart Podcast for what it was that allowed me to finally start to get that clarity.

Throughout it, I mention Possibility Management. Here is their website if you would like to learn more about what it is that they are creating: https://possibilitymanagement.org/home

Episode Transcription

Hello, I'm Donna Joy Usher, and welcome to this 56th episode of the Living through Heart Podcast.


And today, I want to talk about who am I? And when I say this, I don't just mean about me.  


I mean, the question, you know, this general question,  


Who am I?  


And I think the vast majority of the population get to a point in their lives where they realize that they don't really know who they are.  


And this is kind of a,  


perhaps it's a start up a journey for us, because there is also a vast majority population who never even question it, never even think about it.  


They're just sitting the whole time in distraction, numbing themselves from things and they never ever start the journey, right?


And that's the journey that we're here to have.  


That's okay.  


But for those of us who are here to journey and have evolution of consciousness, we get to a point where we realize that we don't know who we are.  


And the WHO that we are, has been constructed by society, by the culture we live in, by our caretakers, by our belief systems.  


And the stuff that we cobbled together when we're a small child that kind of like was like, okay, this is who I, you know, this is who I am.  


This is how I stay safe, I I could just stay very quiet. I don't move or but this is like, this is what we are.  


But it's kind of like we put together this Mr. Potato Head, right?  


We put together all this stuff.  


And then we get to a point where we're an adult, and we realized it doesn't serve us.  


This, who we are that we had created as a child doesn't serve us anymore.  


And it actually doesn't resonate with us. And then it becomes that that question on that journey of who am I.  


And I was listening to, I was on a mastermind recently, with The Ultimate Hypno coach, and we had a beautiful woman on from possibility management.  


There's the first time I've ever been exposed to them.  


And I was like really blown out of the water.  


And it's something I'm going to be journeying into further and hopefully end of March, I'm going to be going to the kind of foundation or it's like a four or five day program they do called expand box.


And it's all about upgrading your "thoughtware", meaning like our software, with mine, right?  


And the premise is like, well, how often do you have to upgrade the software on your phone, like, you know, almost weekly right?  


And yet most of us go through life, never upgrading our thoughtware.  


But on this mastermind, she was talking about how we have no initiation into adulthood anymore, and how our modern culture that we're in like the patriarchy that we exist within,  


the patriarchy that is the one culture that exists, whether or not you choose to with it exists within that as your choice, right?  


How they have systematically wiped out all like native initiation, so all cultures have initiations and wiped them out.  


Now, that's not to say there aren't still some initiations around the world.  


But as a general whole population, we don't have initiations.  


And one of the most important initiations is the initiation or the rite of passage into adulthood.  


And that's why a lot of us get to like, 40, 50.  


And we're like, who am I?  


Because we never let go of the child to become the adult.  


And all of those things that the child created, all of those belief systems, all of those thoughts, all of those, the ways of being the child created are still with us, because we never were able to release them and this is the journey that a lot of us are on are releasing the old and the things from the past that were our real ality that we thought just were the way things are, but now are realizing that oh, that's not the way life is, doesn't have to be like that.  


And when you can step out of that model, you actually start to expand and have real freedom.  


And then life becomes really, really fun.  


Because the things that are life that a lot of people see is traps and the victims in are actually just there as tools for us to use.


But anyway, that's a whole other conversation, we're not gonna go down that rabbit hole.  


So basically, we have no initiations from childhood into adulthood. And it means that we're lost, we're lost, we and we don't know how to be an adult.  


The vast majority of us don't even have a strong adult model that was our caretaker as a child.  


So we don't have a vibration of someone who was deeply aligned, and integrity, and was able to resonate that frequency to us so that we could feel that and then we could start to model it.  


And that's really, you know, becoming an adult is about that responsibility. Taking responsibility for yourself taking responsibility for your emotions, taking responsibility for your actions, realizing that we create our own existence, our own life, taking responsibility for our belief systems, for our woundings and going into them.


And becoming an adult is really about letting go of all the child, the child things, the child's way of being, the child's thoughts, the child's belief, and coming into a new way of being.  


A way of being where we're not energetically pushing ourselves onto other people to try and stay safe.  


But we are safe within ourselves.  


And we can be be with that.  


And this is something that is I'm becoming more and more passionate about this way of being and it's discussions that I've had with, you know, several people.  


But especially my mentors, and you know, I've been actually talking to Keith, I work with in his business at Intuity International, where we trained spiritual healers, about how we, we heal, we don't heal them, we create a container and bringing the tools that allow people to go through a healing on themselves, right, because they're the ones doing the work. They're the ones that have to go, they're the ones they're the ones that are linking and connecting and having the realization, we don't heal them, we create a space for them to heal within, right.  


But there is this whole like, okay, well, they've released this belief system, but the patterning, the habit from it is still there, almost like this holographic imprint of who they are.  


And they can easily still stay in that same structure because they don't have another way of being, they don't know how to be.  


And there's this this initiation, that's rites of passage.  


And it's becoming more and more true to me that perhaps this is like, because I'm still working out who I am.  


And what am I meant to be doing?  


What's my purpose?  


That this, I think is really where I'm becoming very passionate about is, I thought it was about helping to be able to be empowered, right?  


But what is more empowering than knowing who you are, that I think it's like refining for me, and really sharpening and really getting clarity around what I'm meant to be doing, which I think is helping people to allow the space for them to heal, but then creating a transmission for them, and teachings for them, to allow them to move into a new way of being.  


Because it doesn't just happen, we don't let go of the old and know how to be the new, we need to be taught because we are still a child is even as an adult, we are still always having to learn.  


And there always has to be someone to guide us.  


And then we can only go so far without somebody to show us and guide us and to give us a transmission of what's possible.  


And that's entrainment right, when somebody else can hold a resonance for us that we can go, whoa, okay, I get it.  


I can feel it, I understand it, then we can be it, then we can become it.  


And without that, sure, we can make some progress.


But we can't go as far as if we've got someone holding this space for us of what is possible.  


So the Who am I question...




Who am I?  


It's the start of the journey, It's the start discovering what we want, who we are.  


And we need people to guide us, we need people to help us and we need people to help us to be able to heal the woundings but then we need people to help us to move forward into our way of being.  


And one of the things that this lady, Anne-Chloé, her name was from Possibility Management spoke about was this thing called Bright Words.  


And they, the very thing I really I really appreciated about all the things that she was saying is that it was so precise and so refined and their way of looking at stuff within this culture that they're creating.  


So that study is exactly what they're doing. T


hey're creating this new culture of radical responsibility, but it removes all the fluff.  


And the fluff is numbing.  


The fluff is the stuff that we stay in, because it's kind of like comfortable, because we don't have to do anything.  


And listening to her talk allowed me to see within myself, even with the work that I had done, still, these areas of fluff and numbing that I have where I was still kind of like not being responsible for things.  


And until this is exactly what I'm talking about.  


Until you have somebody like, who can...  


And it's not like she was pointing stuff out in me, she was just being a transmission of who she was.  


And I was able to see within that a reflection of myself and to see where wow, yeah, I've still got a long way to go.  


And she talked about bright words.  


And bright words were she had five words for herself, and they kind of like to find the vibration was she she said it to find the vibration of what she offered her clients.  


So when clients came to her, and this is why people were attracted to her, but I think on a deeper level, and I think that she just didn't talk about it from this angle, but I'm pretty sure that this is what they know the bright words are, right, but the right words are actually words that capture the vibrational essence of who we are, and what we stand for.


And it was interesting, because I immediately started trying to feel into my own bright words.  


And there's a whole journey that they take you through to find that right, which I haven't done, but I'm I'm pretty sure that I've worked out what mine are.  


And when I was sharing with Charlotte, who is CEO/Founder of The Ultimate Hypno coach, where we trained hypnotherapists and I messaged her what I thought my bright words were because at that point, I was thinking about them as being a transmission of what I offered other people, my clients, right? And when I sent them to her, she said, that's you, that's who you are, right?  


I was like, oh, that makes sense.  


Because the vibration of who we are, is really what we're offering other people.  


And, and I'm gonna guess that's why, you know, I didn't really get it when I first started training as a hypnotherapist with her where she would say, you know, the people will come to you that need what you have, right.  


And then I would say, like, I would start to get not upset, not frustrated. But I would start to get maybe a little bit stressed, when I would think about people who are out there who are offering healing services who weren't doing their own healing, right?  


And they were really like, where they were, was like being the expert in the field, but they're really guarding themselves and kind of like set themselves up to these experts that they didn't have to go into their own shit, right?  


And she's like, Oh, yes, but the people that are attracted to them, if that's what they'll need, or want to know, but everybody needs this.  


But now I'm realizing that no, not everybody is ready, but the transmission of who you are.  


And people will get drawn to like who they need in that moment.  


And we're like stepping stones as healers, we're stepping stones for people. And we should never set ourselves up to think I'm totally going off script here.  


It's not what I was planning to talk about, but we should never set ourselves up to be the one, the one that can offer everybody, something because that's incredibly arrogant and egotistical to think that we're the one right?


But rather just to be who we are, and to be solid within that and to offer that transmission of who we are to somebody.  


And if that's what they need, they will be drawn to us, if what we're offering them within that that vibration, within that frequency is what they need, they will be drawn to us.  


And realizing that there will come a time where they have that, and they don't need more of that from us, and then they will flow on to what it is that they need next.  


So when I when I came up with my own bright words, which I will share when... I mean, they're my bright words at the moment, who knows whether if they are like, if I go through this journey myself, I might find that there are different ones there.  


But I really resonate with me pretty deeply.  


But when I told her mind, and she told me hers, I was like, oh, that's so different.  


Because for me, I'm like well, yeah, this is everybody's bright words, you know, this is like, and it's that whole thing that we do with people where we assume that everybody is the same as us, right?  


And then we start trying to make them and put up and no, you should be thinking this and you shouldn't be doing that because we're trying to make them be like us, right, because we think that this is the reality but in reality, it's just who we are.  


So yeah, when I told her her mind on hers came back and she was kind of on the flip side where she was like peace and joy and I'm like, oh, oh yeah, there were possibilities that resonated with me right.  


So I am... within this to like, you know, when I said what my bright words will be, it will be interesting to see if the frequency of whoI am and what the words are that I am now shifts with time as I grow.  


And were these words that I resonate with now, would that resonated with me five years ago?  


I don't know, I'll tell you in five years, right?  


Because I'm about to go into a new journeying, starting in May, I think I might have mentioned it, the previous podcast, I'm really super excited because now I'm coming out of my Tantra practitioner training, I'm nearly finished the year of that and wow, you know, amazing insights and growth and tools and skills that I've developed.  


And I'm still working my way through this stuff on my own level of being and I started real journeying into the feminine and what it means to be in my feminine power.  


And I'm actually I've planned a podcast in a couple of podcasts. I'm going to talk about chemistry and polarity. And I'm gonna talk more about that as well.  


And I have now I signed up to start in May, a one year shamanic training.  


So it's basically healing from a shamanic point of view.  


And it's resonates deeply with me.


And it's live in Perth, which will be really exciting.  


It's the first time I'll actually have done one of these trainings live.  


And you know, we have a couple of pockets during the year, we were actually intensively with each other for 10 days at a time going through our own journey and healing and learning.  


And when I spoke to Mark, the man who, who created One Tribe, and he pointed out things in me like he'd never even met me, but his intuition is and his channeling is so developed, that he was able to totally pin where I'm at right now. And the journey that I'm on right now, which is into the feminine.  


And that his vibration, of his understanding of the concept of the feminine-masculine energies and powers allowed me to see that even with all the work I've done up to the now, I'm just on the tip of the iceberg.  


And I was like, ah, yeah, you know, kind of got it right.  


But now I'm starting to see that within this field, I am just a child.  


And this journey that I'm going to go on in the next year, it's not going to be just about that it's going to be about lots of different things.  


But that's the journey that I'm going to be going into and the shedding of the old and the creation of the new so watch out for that.  


It's exciting, right?  


So bright words... what are my bright words?  


Well, interestingly enough, recently, I had a vision of myself with a tattoo, and I don't have any tattoos.  


And I've never thought about getting one.  


But it was the same with my nose piercing.  


I had never thought about getting one until I did a string of future meditation.  


And I've talked about this before, the future me in it, who was everything that I wasn't at that time, she was happy, she was free.  


And she kind of like jauntily walked past me, in front of me. And she looked at me and she winked. And she had a nose pierced.  


And I was like, holy shit.  


I've got my nose pierced.  


I never even thought about it, it had never been in my radar had been never any I was just not someone who got their nose pierced.  


It was not something I was even remotely interested in.  


And I just went well bark.  


That's what I have to do to become her.  


If I have to that's, you know, I know it's just a physical thing, right.  


But I'm like, well, I'm going to start aligning myself physically with her so I can start aligning myself vibrationally with her, and I just got a I got on the computer I booked in, and I want to get my nose pierced that week.  


So I had a vision of myself with a tattoo.  


Recently, probably about a month, a month and a half ago, I think I wasn't even consciously meditating.  


I was just in a state of nothingness in my own body. And then I saw myself with this kind of big one, like, on the back of my right shoulder blade.  


And, and it felt really right.  


And that was the thing I'd always had about tattoos, I didn't want to get something permanently inked onto me that wasn't who I was vibrationally, right, that didn't have really deep meaning for me.  


I didn't want to have something on me that when I looked in the mirror, and even two years time, I was like, I don't like it anymore.  


I didn't want it to just be a pretty picture.  


I wanted it to be very deeply linked to me and my journey.  


And I wasn't really sure what that was.  


So that's why I've never been attracted to them before.


So then I saw this I was like, whoa, what is that I didn't actually get the picture of what it was.  


And then I went to see the Harry Potter, the Western Australian symphony orchestra playing the soundtrack to Harry Potter the final movie, and the thing when they're breaking out of the bank coming was called, whatever it is.  


Anyway, they're breaking out the bank and the dragon is climbing up the wall and I was like, oh my god, it's a dragon.  


I just knew it was a dragon that was on my back.  


And I have done work with dragon energies, I've done with Shannon Vallance, you know, I have some dragons, energetically, that I work with.  


And really if you're freaking out right now, it's okay.  


It's just energy right?  


And it is, it's vibration, and what dragons stand for is fierce love and protection.  


So, for me, when I realized, when I started thinking of the bright words and what they were, I realized that all of those bright words, were a vibration of what dragon stood for, for me. So, I have love, that deep, deep love, like, a love that is like, unconditional, right?  


With zero judgment, where there just is and, you know, when I do meditations, and I tap into, you know, source love versus Earth love, right?  


So for me, it's the Earth is the feminine, and she brings us everything that we need, you know, sunlight, nurturing, comfort, beautiful things like food, shelter, and it's that mothering earth energy, where is the source of the energy is this masculine.  


For me, this masculine love and energy, where it just is, it's just presence.  


And there's just a huge allowing there, allowing us to be who we are, and to fuck up and to do terrible things.


And then it's not even, we don't even need to ask it for forgiveness, we do that for ourselves, we forgive ourselves, right?  


We don't need God to forgive us, because there was never any judgment there in the first place.  


They just is, right, there's just a being.


We need to forgive ourselves.  


And within that forgiveness, there is a choice not to do that anymore.  


Which is so important, right?  


Because you've probably heard me talk about the dark and the light.  


And when people are just spiritually bypassing and resisting the dark, then there's always the potential that they will go there.  


But when someone has chosen to dark, and then can ask for forgiveness, turn away from it, and then choose the light. And that's the real difference.  


Anyway, sorry, totally going off script now.  


So love,  


love is the first, the first word,  but that deep, unconditional love, which I am working to hold for myself as well, right, the container that I hold for myself within which I am then many different parts that are wounded and need holding, is this unconditional love.  


And that's what I'm working towards.  


And that's what I want to offer the world.  


And basically, then obviously, the people who are drawn to me.


The second word is integrity.  


I have very strong integrity.  


Does, does that mean that everybody has to know, that's just me, that's my personal thing.  


I've always held myself to a higher standard.  


And I hold and it's not like, it's not like I'm holding people to a higher standard than judging them when they're there, but I'm holding the potential for them to have that highest standard.  


By having it within myself, by going for it, by doing the work, by showing up, by sometimes choosing quite often choosing the hard thing, choosing to do the hard thing, right?  


Because that's where the growth is.  


That's where the evolution is.  


That's where the freedom is.  


And I'm not saying like when I say the choosing to do the hard thing, because that's what's right.  


Well, that's the very duality thing to say, is it right?  


It's not it just is right.  


So for me, integrity, very strong word.  




Oh my god, empowerment.  


You know, and people think that power is something that bleeds through around, that's not true power. There's bullies who try and force people to do what they want them to do to think the way they are. That's actually comes from a very deep lack of self worth, and a needing to have safety by having everybody else agree with you.


True power is in just being able to stand within yourself and not let people force you into something that you don't want to do.  


Not letting force people that's opinion on you.  


And you know what, you know it when you are out of integrity within this right?  


When you say something that is not in alignment with really who you are.  


But to be a part of a crowd or to feel safe within like, you know, a peer group or something and then it it kind of get that feeling inside.  


Then that's you not being in your power, or not being in integrity, right, but also not being in your power.  


Because really, you should be able to either not say anything at all, but not agree with it, but maybe even disagree.  


And then there's that fine line between will do actually say anything at all.  


Do you need to say anything?  


Or are you just if you say something, what's the intention behind it?  


Are you trying to force your opinion on somebody else?  


Or are you just quietly standing up for yourself and for your own your own beliefs and for what is true for you?  


So true power is being the boulder in the storm. That's immovable, the boulder isn't trying to change the storm, the boulder isn't trying to change the trees around it, the boulder is trying to make everybody else be a boulder. It is just being. And that is true power for us to be able to just be who we are, without having to make anybody else be the same as us.  


And I've got a plan to podcast, I think, actually, it's the same I spoke about before the one it's coming up in a couple, and a video coming up on polarity and chemistry and really within that, and actually, I think the next one I've got planned too is that our wants and needs, and how we try to turn everybody else to be the same as us so that we feel safe, right?  


Because if everybody else is the same as us, and we're right.  


But true freedom comes from realizing the three dimensionality of not only ourselves, but others and enjoying that, enjoying them for who they are, and not trying to change them to be the same as us.  


So that's my third word, empowerment.  


The next one is freedom, freedom, freedom in life, freedom in soul, freedom in choice, right?  


It's freedom within.


And the more work I do, the more I let go of, the more expansion and freedom that I have.  


And it's so interesting to realize that I spent my entire life in a structure of control, and routine, to now get to a point where I'm like over 50 to realize that I hate structure and routine.  


And really what I crave is freedom.  


And this is why, you know, I stopped taking one on one clients into really big containers of like, you're working with them for six months, because for me that actually felt like quite constricting within my soul and my body, and like a trap.  


And now I'm kind of like doing and back to doing one on ones.  


But I'm doing it like four sessions at a time, one session at a time.  


Which you know, sometimes it's all people, is it all they need?  


Well, that's up to them, right?  


But sometimes still they want they're just wanting to solve a problem or get a bit more...  


Not everybody's on the journey where we're just going for it and just seeing oh my god, how far can I go with this?  


How far can I you know, what's next?  


But yeah, so for me freedom, freedom of choice, freedom of where I want to live, freedom of what I want to do, freedom from day to day, just a different structure.  


I was waking up and going, okay, what do I need to do today?  


What do I want to do today?  


What do I have to do today?  


And how is my day going to look and then working around that and each day to day is different.  


So freedom.  


Now my fifth word, and I don't know, with the bright words, we're not gonna have to be five, or we're not gonna have more than five. But all I know is that we have five.  


So this is what I'm working off.  


And when I do this, expand the box training, I will be talking about it more.  


So you know, look out for that.  


That's going to be a few months time, though.  


So initially, I had clarity.  


And for me, clarity is very important.  


Because clarity allows precision.  


And that allows us to be responsible, right?  


When we have clarity over things, then we can have that radical responsibility. And when we don't have clarity, then there is that fluffiness and there is that kind of like hoping and praying we're gonna get what we want, which never works out, right.  


I mean, some people do they do that anyway.  


Or maybe maybe they're not really getting what they want.  


Or they maybe they're getting what they want, but it's not actually what they need. Right? I don't know.  




So it was clarity, but it doesn't deeply resonate within me.  


And I don't think it aligns with dragons.  


I don't think it's it doesn't, it feels like a very important word to me, like focus and stuff like that, consistency.  


They're important words to me.  


But it doesn't deeply resonate within my soul.  


When I was writing this, I came up with the word presence.  


The fact that I don't go yes, that's it means it's probably not a bright word.  


But it is a layer down presence being a hold presence for myself and for others.  


And there is a level of responsibility within presence. And there's all this emotion moving within me, I should say talk about the word presence.  


So something there.  


I think whatever this word for me is, it's something to do with this.  


And it's that I can feel it within the dragon that intense ability to hold space and concentration.  


And, and like just to be right and maybe it is presence.  


But to be able to hold that for myself.  


And to work within the container of the presence of myself when I'm working with the parts of myself when I have pain, physiological pain come back at my body.  


I'm like, Oh my God, there's something that what is it?  


And then I go off and hold space for myself.  


And I'm present for myself on a journey inward to find out what's going on.  


Which part of me is holding the other end of this and trying to alert me to something and trying to let me do something that they're uncomfortable with.  


Then I can go in and I can see what they're uncomfortable with, I can observe within my life, and then I can give them what they need right?  


In myself. And then, then what I'm finding is that that makes this physiological discomfort go away, rather than me having to like, force an outcome to make it go away, which is what I used to do, never works. Well, by the way, make somebody else give me what I needed, that also never works well, because then it's not consistent, then you can't rely on it, then you don't know if you're gonna get it, and then you're not safe, right?  


We're each going to give these things to ourselves.  


So there is a deep presence there.  


I'm sorry, I'm just going totally off script here with different things.  


But I hope that you're getting something out of this, wisdom that's coming through me while I'm talking about who am I, and starting to maybe think deeper into things for yourself and have a different way of thinking and a vibration possibility for who you are.  


Anyway, so once I get my bright words I might do another thing about it, I might not we'll see.  


Might be talking about the actual process of going through it.  


But yeah, these words: love, integrity, empowerment, freedom, and definitely presence.  


When I hold those words, and what they mean to me, and this is also realizing that different words mean different things to different people.


And in conversation, like with an active listening, you know, we have to not only listen to the words that are coming out of their mouth, and try and understand what they're saying, and then look for clarity within that, as opposed to just listening to someone talk and coming up with what we're going to say next.  


Or how we're going to turn the conversation around to be about us, or how we're going to defend ourselves or debate or stand up for ourselves and force them to our own opinion, right?  


Active listening is about actively listening to someone and trying to understand the concepts that they're putting across to you within this conversation.  


And then within that the next level down is the realization that different words mean different things to different people.  


And the word responsibility,  


and I got this from Anne-Chloe, she said to her responsibility when she was growing up.  


And you know, when she was had to take responsibility for something, it meant punishment.  


And I was like, Oh my God, because my girlfriend Shana and I often have these conversations where I talk about radical responsibility, she gets massively triggered.  


Because for her, her whole childhood was taking responsibility for all the adults around her to stay safe.  


And it never worked well.  


And she was always punished for things that she hadn't actually done that were wrong.  


And she was made to, like, they were forcing her and their emotional bodies onto her and she was responsible for it.  


So when I'm talking about you having to be responsible, she's like, repulsed by it, right?


But when I was able to explain to her, once I got this concept of oh, she's seeing the word responsibilities, meaning something different to me.  


And when I could explain to her what I see responsibility as, which is choice and freedom, because when we take responsibility for our lives, then we have choice and freedom, or we're no longer trapped in the matrix, right? We're no longer victims to other things. And we're no longer just like having stuff happened to us. Because we're realizing that the things that happened to us happen to us because of our own actions, in actions or reactions, and then we can take control of that.Well, we can we can take control of our life, right? Even though we don't have to have control in such a way that we're fixed in place, but we can take responsibility for our life.  


So your bright words, and the vibration of them, and maybe the meaning of them might mean something different to somebody else.  


But they resonate deeply with you and your understanding of those words and who you are.  


And within the container of that is starting to the understanding, the coming home of the who am I?  


How do I show up in the world?  


What do I offer?  


What do I have to offer?  


And perhaps within that, what is my purpose?  


You know, I'm still on that journey of discovering what my purpose is. And I've always been so jealous of people who, who just know it already, or who were born knowing it. But you know, I wouldn't have had this crazy, amazing journey if I had have known my purpose from the very beginning.  


So perhaps rather than be jealous of those people, I should be happy and glad.  


They didn't know. Because I still don't know.  


Because otherwise I wouldn't be doing exactly what I'm doing right now.  


And what I'm doing right now, and the life I'm living right now, is amazing.  


And don't get me wrong.  


It's not without pain.  


And it's not without discomfort.  


But even within that there is an amazingness and a freedom, you know, and we're not here just to experience positive things.  


We're here to experience both.  


But when we release when we're able to let go what things mean about us and stop seeing stopping wounded within pain, then it's just something that we're in.  


It's not like a deep wounding.  


It doesn't mean anything about us.  


So It's not really like well, I guess those bright words right if we can bring in the vibration of who we actually are, and allow that to help us heal those all those old wounds as well.  


Anyway, that's enough for me on this topic.  


Next time I am going to be talking about wants and needs, which is a dance I'm having in my head at the moment.  


So I'm just going to talk about where I'm at to with that right now.