Welcome to another deeply intimate and empowering episode of Living Through Heart. In Episode 68, Donna Joy Usher opens the sacred conversation around the Yoni โ a word that encompasses far more than just anatomy. Whether you're new to the term or deeply familiar with your own body, this episode offers profound insights into feminine pleasure, self-love, and healing. This isn't just an episode for women. Men, this is for you too โ a guide to understanding your partner more deeply, to help facilitate connection, presence, and conscious intimacy. Donna dives into: What a Yoni truly is and why the language we use matters The G-spot, A-spot, clitoral network, and female erectile tissue How female arousal is different from male arousal โ and why slower is better The seven gateways to pleasure and what real readiness looks like Releasing shame and reclaiming power around pleasure and anatomy The truth about Yoni mapping, de-armouring, and building a brain-body connection Books and teachers whoโve helped her on this path: Freya Graf, Amanda Bickham, Layla Martin, and others How we can redefine intimacy, love, and connection through presence This episode is a beautiful blend of science, spirituality, and soulful storytelling. Donna shares her personal journey and profound learnings from her Tantra studies, retreats, and intimate experiences. Youโll walk away with: A deeper appreciation for the sacred nature of your body (or your partnerโs) Tools to enhance intimacy, trust, and pleasure Awareness of how conditioning and shame have affected our pleasure Permission to reclaim pleasure as your birthright โจ Listen now.
๐ Episode 68 โ Things You May Not Know About Your Yoni
Living Through Heart Podcast with Donna Joy Usher
In this deeply empowering and educational episode, Donna invites you into an intimate and liberating conversation about the Yoni โ a word many may not even be familiar with, yet one that holds the key to understanding our bodies, pleasure, and healing in a whole new way.
Whether youโre a woman ready to reclaim her connection with her body, or a man wanting to understand and honour the feminine more deeply, this episode offers a beautifully grounded and expansive exploration of female anatomy, Tantra, sensuality, and the hidden wisdom of our most sacred space.
From the expansive clitoral network to the G-spot and A-spot, from arousal timelines to the seven gateways to pleasure, Donna shares powerful insights, personal stories, and a gentle invitation to let go of shame and return to reverence. She also touches on healing practices such as Yoni mapping and de-armouring, the importance of arousal and readiness, and why pleasure is not only our birthright โ itโs built into our very design.
This is not just an anatomy lesson โ it's a call to awaken your body, reclaim your power, and love yourself more deeply than ever before.
๐ In this episode, you'll learn:
Why the word Yoni matters (and what it really means)
The true structure and purpose of the clitoris (hint: itโs way more than a nub!)
The real reason why women take longer to become aroused โ and why thatโs a good thing
How rushing sex can harm pleasure (and how to honour your body's timing)
The 7 Gateways to Pleasure and how to open them
What Yoni mapping and de-armouring are โ and how they can help heal sexual trauma
Why understanding our anatomy is an act of empowerment and self-love
๐บ Resources & Mentions:
Freya Graf โ Yoni Mapping & The Vagina Chronicles
Amanda Biccum โ ย Website | Yoni Egg Course Available in Temple of Radiance Membership Site
Arja Hendrikx - Website | Non-Linear Lovemaking Course Available in Temple of Radiance Membership Site
Layla Martin โ Website | Yoni Egg practices
Ma Ananda Sarita - Website
Yoni Pleasure Palace - Buy Crystal Yoni Eggs and so much more
Book: Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer
Book: The Anatomy of Female Arousal by Sheri Winston
Book: The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia
The Four Hour Body by Tim Ferriss (chapter on prolonged orgasm)
Hello. I'm Donna Joy Usher. Welcome to this 68th episode of the Living Through Heart Podcast. Today I want to talk to you about things you may not know about your Yoni. Now, if you don't know what a Yoni is, you're going to get a lot out of this.
Basically, your Yoni is your vagina. So this is for women โ this podcast โ to know more about their bodies, to know more about their own pleasure. But it's also for you guys out there to know more about your partnerโs bodies and pleasure, or moving forward, just women that you might be taking as lovers โ to know more about what it is that we have, our anatomy, and how to maximize the use of it.
Yoni is a Sanskrit word, and I came across it initially in Tantra. It's what is used in Tantra to talk about women's genitals โ their anatomy, their vaginas. And the male version for the penis is the Lingam. In Tantra, we talk about Yoni worship and Lingam worship. The reason I really like the word is because it is, for me personally (and I think the same for a lot of women), a magical, sacred word.
The word โvaginaโ can take the magic out of our anatomy โ it's very clinical. There are a lot of other words for vagina that have been used in defamatory ways, and they are being reclaimed โ words like โpussyโ and โcunt.โ These are being reclaimed as power words. But over time โ especially with the patriarchy โ womenโs genitalia, the source of our power, has been diminished.
Our womb is our creative space. The vagina is the entry point to that. It is through this amazing portal that we create life. The word โYoniโ brings magic, mystery, and reverence โ and thatโs why I love it.
Now, I want to talk about some anatomy stuff to start with, because โ look โ I was 50 before I found out where my G-spot was. And I didnโt even know until then that I had an A-spot.
I was at a retreat with Shannon Valance, and a beautiful woman named Freya Graff came in. She gave us a talk about our female genitalia. Freya is a coach and Yoni mapping practitioner. Yoni mapping is an incredible healing process that helps women, especially those whoโve experienced sexual trauma, reconnect with their bodies, develop self-love, and release trauma held in that sacred space.
She gave us this incredibly eye-opening tour of our anatomy, and we were all women in our 40s and 50s, with no idea how much we didnโt know about our own bodies.
The G-spot is located where the urethra runs up the front wall of the vagina. Thereโs spongey erectile tissue that wraps around the urethra and protects it โ this is where the G-spot and A-spot are found.
This tissue is erectile tissue. As we become turned on, it engorges, becomes more sensitive, and also protects us โ it helps prevent UTIs by creating pressure on the urethra and making it harder for bacteria to get in.
If we have sex before this tissue is fully engorged, we increase the chance of discomfort and UTIs. Thatโs something really important that a lot of people donโt know.
Women take a lot longer for this tissue to become fully engorged. We have just as much erectile tissue as men โ itโs just more internal. Men get erect quickly โ itโs obvious. Women, not so much. And weโve been taught to think thereโs something wrong with us because of that.
Porn doesnโt help โ it shows women as instantly turned on. But in reality, it can take a woman 20 to 40 minutes to become fully aroused and ready for penetration.
And thatโs not a flaw โ thatโs a feature. When we embrace this slower approach, we create more pleasure, deeper connection, and better health.
Most of the time, women allow penetration too early โ before theyโre ready โ and thatโs when itโs not pleasurable, maybe even painful. And then we start thinking something is wrong with us. We feel high-maintenance, or guilty. So we let it happen when weโre not truly ready.
But in Tantra, I learned why weโre designed this way. Men are turned on through their sex. Women are turned on through their hearts.
When a man takes the time to penetrate her with his presence first โ not his Lingam โ her heart begins to open. And when her heart opens, his heart opens. This is the beauty of tantric love-making โ itโs about presence, intimacy, and energetic connection.
Love-making is different from sex. Itโs about oneness. Thereโs cosmic breathing โ like Kundalini or Macrocosmic Orbit breathing โ where the woman breathes from her heart into the manโs heart, and he breathes down through his Lingam into her Yoni, and she breathes it back up. This creates a loop of life force energy that builds intimacy and ecstasy.
Iโm not a sexual coach. Iโm not an expert. But Iโve learned these things, and Iโm still learning. I just wanted to share them.
In non-linear love-making โ a concept taught by Aya Hendrick โ itโs not about a set path like entrรฉe, main, dessert. Itโs like a picnic, where you nibble, explore, rest, touch, pause โ you donโt know where itโs going, and you donโt have to. Thereโs no pressure, just presence.
This is a much more feminine way of connecting โ of being in intimacy. Sometimes penetration doesnโt even happen โ and thatโs okay. Because itโs about connection, not performance.
Now, ladies โ when youโre asked if youโre ready for penetration, it should be a โyesโ from your Yoni, not just your mind. Donโt say yes when sheโs a no.
Freya Graff teaches the Seven Gateways to Pleasure. Itโs a step-by-step path into deep intimacy:
Energetic connection
Non-erogenous zones
Outer extremities
Erogenous zones
Breasts
External Yoni
Internal Yoni
Each gateway takes time. Youโre not a light switch โ youโre a temple.
Understanding your anatomy is a beautiful part of reclaiming your power. Did you know your clitoris has over 9,000 nerve endings โ more than double that of a penis? And its only purpose is pleasure.
Your clitoris isnโt just the little nub โ it extends inwards, around the vaginal opening, and back toward the perineum. Itโs a network โ and all pleasure, even deep internal pleasure, involves the clitoral system.
We are designed for pleasure. And itโs okay to take your time.
Now, letโs talk about Yoni Mapping and De-Armouring. Many women are disconnected from their Yonis โ they donโt feel much internally. Thatโs because we donโt have brain mapping for that area unless we create it through intentional exploration.
Yoni Mapping helps you create neurological maps of your internal anatomy โ increasing sensitivity and connection.
De-Armouring is about finding points of tension or trauma in the Yoni and holding or gently massaging those areas until they release. Itโs like trigger point therapy โ but for your sacred center.
You can do this yourself, with a partner, or with a trained practitioner. And you can also use Yoni eggs or wands (made of safe crystal, like the ones from Yoni Pleasure Palace) to explore.
There are also online courses โ Amanda Bickham has a beautiful one, and Layla Martin is another well-known teacher in this space. These practices can help you reconnect with your Yoni, release old stories, and awaken deeper levels of pleasure.
Finally, letโs talk about sublimation โ moving your sexual energy from your lower chakras up through your body. This is a tantric practice that brings ecstasy, not just orgasm.
Men can learn to separate ejaculation from orgasm, allowing them to be multi-orgasmic. Women can move energy up into the heart and third eye, experiencing bliss beyond the genitals.
This is sacred sexuality. And itโs our birthright.
So thatโs it from me today. I know that was a lot โ but I hope it offered you insight, inspiration, and maybe even a few aha moments.
We deserve to know our bodies. We deserve to understand our pleasure. We deserve to reclaim the magic of our Yonis.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Living Through Heart. Iโll see you next time.